we build and then we break (or the other way around)
by Slytherin Cat
Summary: She feels so in love it's like her heart is trying to beat its way out of her chest - of course it was going to end badly. A story of reincarnations, life, death and more than just a tiny bit of love. PercyAnnabeth, for Emily.


_Word count:_ 1765

_**we build and then we break (or the other way around)**_

**-pj-**

He feels blood pooling on his chest and through the ringing white noise in his ears he hears a girl screaming his name.

He knows her, and she sounds afraid. It's not normal, something's wrong – his world's black and red and everything hurts – he has to help her.

"Get him to the water!" The girl is begging and her voice sounds raw, like her tears are caught in her throat and she's forbidding herself to let them fall. She already is so far away, but he has to get back to her, somehow. He can't let her alone.

"It's too late Annabeth. I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do."

Something wet and salty lands on his lips and it's just enough to help him find a way through the dark haze of his mind.

His eyelids feel like lead as he opens his eyes, but the grey eyes full of tears staring at him make it worth all the pain.

"Annabeth," he whispers, and he has a thousand words on his lips and no time to tell them.

In the end, he settles for an 'I love you', because it's the most important thing left on his mind. He would tell her of his regrets, ask her what'll happen to her now, but those words never make it past his lips.

He closes his eyes and he won't ever hear her screams of anguish as he dies in her arms.

His last thought is about Annabeth, and whether or not there is a world somewhere where their story doesn't end in tears and blood – in death. It's a fool's hope, but he'd rather die hoping that somewhere, anywhere, they're still together and haven't been screwed up by the gods, than die with no hope at all.

**-pj-**

He's dead and yet he's dreaming – no, remembering. He sees the world through some kind of grey haze, and suddenly the color rushes back to him.

A man's near a river and a lady's talking to him – except it's not river but a garden and the lady suddenly has wings, her hair forming like a halo around her face.

At first he's confused, but then he remembers someone telling him that the Underworld shapes itself on the expectations of its visitors. The man talks and Percy's dragged back into the conversation.

"If I follow you, will I ever get to see her again?" The man asks, and a face flashes in Percy's mind – but the face's wrong, because the man's voice had been full of love and the woman's not Annabeth.

"You know I can't tell you that. You'll be the one in charge anyway. If you want to find her, it'll all be up to you."

His answering smile was so bright it was almost blinding. "I'll find her then."

"I wish you luck then, Evan. Live a good life."

The man steps in the river – grabs the angel's hand – and a life not his own flashes before his eyes as the Lethe erases it.

Except that Percy can't forget it, because if he doesn't remember, how can he find that girl? And he has to find her - he has this feeling that she is important and as he watches the man struggling to keep his head out of the water he tries to interfere, forgetting for a moment that this is only a memory.

The man can't do anything against the courant, it's too strong – it's taking everything away and soon he'll drown and be born again.

But suddenly the world cracks, the man is Percy and Percy is the man. Percy can't drown, the water is his home, even now that he's dead, and so he saves himself and hides the memories of being Evan and the girl who both is and isn't Annabeth deep in his mind.

And then he lets the world fade into white.

The man who was Evan and now is Percy disappears, and Percy finds himself alone by the river's side. The lady's - who's not an angel anymore now that Evan is gone – green eyes widen in surprise, but that should be impossible because Percy's dead, and this is only a memory, a life he should have forgotten.

**-pj-**

Evan comes first, then there is Percy. He remembers now, even though he wishes he didn't.

He found Annabeth, but he left her again – life's unfair that way. He has no idea how long he'll have to wait for her this time, but he hopes it's a long time, even if it kind of breaks his heart to be without her.

Of course, Elysium's very nice – it should be depressing that he knows so many people there already, but somehow he just finds it reassuring.

At least, he won't have to wait alone, and this time he knows what to wait for.

The Lethe glitters in the distance, and Percy wonders if maybe the third time would really be the charm.

**-ac-**

The shot rings in her ears and she doesn't even realize she's moved until Evan's head on her knees as she desperately tries to stop the blood from leaking through her fingers.

"No, no, no, no," she chants like it's her new mantra, and she doesn't even know how she's talking because she's chocking on her tears and she can't breathe because her heart feels like it's being torn out of her chest. It feels like she's the one who's been shot – the way it should have been, before Evan jumped in front of her – except that she's fine, and the blood _(oh god, there's red everywhere, hot and sticky on her fingers, and it shouldn't be there, because blood is life and Evan needs it)_ isn't hers.

"Please don't die on me," she begs through her tears, and that bastard has the nerve to laugh.

He laughs and ends up chocking on his blood, his breath just barely there, until he spits it out.

"I swear I'm fine," he tells her as he tries to get up. He only half manages it, but he gives her that smile – the one that usually tells her that he can't quite believe she's there with him, and in that moment he realizes that it actually means that _he_ can't believe he's there. "I promise."

"You're lying." She's smiling – why is she smiling? The man she loves is dying in her arms, and she smiles like they're actually going to be okay. Except that they're not.

They're never going to be fine ever again, because Evan is her life, and her life is seeping out of her just as surely as blood is leaking out of his chest.

He laughs again, and she laughs too. For a moment, she has this desperate idea of getting him into the water and healing him, but that's just rubbish. Evan's purely human, just like her, and his time has run out.

"I'm dying, I think I have that right," he answers her with a bitter smile.

"Shut up, you're not dying."

He gives her a look that clearly says 'yes, I am' and in the next second she's trying desperately to blink back tears.

She can't allow herself to cry, because if she does she's afraid she'll miss one of the last moments she's got to stare at Evan's warm brown eyes shining with love and just so much life.

His hand takes hers in a somewhat sloppy grip, and she tries to ignore the fact that his blood is between them.

"Hey, you'll be just fine. You're strong, love, you'll live." If there's more to that sentence, she'll never know as he coughs so violently she fears this is the end already.

Her mind screams that this can't be it already, and she tightens her hold on his hand in the hope it'll anchor him in this world for a little while longer.

When he stops, he's so pale that she'd think him dead if it wasn't for his grip on her hand.

He spits blood again, and when he opens his mouth to talk she knows what he's going to say before he does.

"Shouldn't the dying get his last wish?"

"Of course. Anything. Anything for you."

His hand digs into his pocket, and he takes out a small black box – she's seen it by accident last week, and she had been waiting for that moment since then. It's cruel for it to come now.

"I know this isn't the most romantic of settings, but I think that's all we'll ever get. I was going to take you to so many places…" She doesn't even know where he got this energy from, but through his struggles for breath he manages to talk.

"Jess, will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course," she answers with a smile so bright it could outshine the stars, even though inside her heart is breaking all over again.

"Kiss me?"

She does, and she tastes his blood on her lips.

He dies with her lips on his, and her world crumbles like a house of cards.

She lets her tears fall, and it takes the arrival of the police – too late, as always – for her to agree to relinquish her hold on his body.

And in another life, Annabeth Chase wakes up in the Athena cabin with tears on her cheeks and a feeling of loss that for once has nothing to do with Percy.

This was just a dream, but it was all so close to the scene of Percy's death that she lets her tears fall anew.

Only this time, she doesn't even know who her heart is weeping for, and what name her mind is screaming for.

**-pj&ac-**

When she dies, she has no regrets. She already knows who she'll meet on the other side, and she has been to Underworld too many times for it to scare her anymore.

Percy's there, and he greets her like they just saw each other yesterday.

For a moment, she thinks of that girl called Jess who kissed the man she loved's last breath away and she hopes they got reunited the same way her and Percy did.

And then Percy kisses her and she forgets all of her concerns.

The Lethe glitters in the distance as they walk away from it, and its light is almost the stuff of dreams.

They have all the time in the world now, and they're together – a third chance at life can always wait a bit longer.

**AN/**** This was written for percy-chased, on the GGE (2014). I don't think I ever wrote so many death scenes, and I still don't understand where this came from. I read PercyAnnabeth, and this happened…**

**Well, I hope you people liked it. Please leave a review on your way out.**


End file.
